Gal 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
I prayed a prayer of commitment tonight to the Lord Jesus. For a while now, the Cross and the name of Jesus continually made me cringe. I figured I was just evil and tried hard to further suppress that urge to curse the name of the Lord Jesus and His Cross. I couldn't figure out why this was happening over and over again, day after day...for years.
Then I quieted down tonight. The Lord confronted me gently with verses. I basically thought I had lost all spiritual hope. But His timely verse that
Joh 10:28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
Joh 10:29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
gave me hope. It was a random verse I asked desperately for the Lord to give me just when I felt I was eternally lost.
I have often felt lost in my daily life, going about daily affairs. I have to pray as often that ``Lord, I don`t know what I`m doing, but You know what you`re doing, so please help me!`` And He always does. Without fail. I could be doing something entirely technical and wouldn`t have a clue, but once I put my trust in Him, He guides my steps and the job always gets done...even though I had no previous training in the matter. Amazing this God, isn`t He?
So tonight I prayed meaning business with God. I asked Him to circumcise my heart. I told the Lord Jesus that I commit my life to Him, every part of it. I asked Him to baptise me in the Holy Spirit and with fire. I asked Him to change my mind and heart. And you know what? I am alive in Christ! I, the "I" that once was, no longer is, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me! These words I must take in all its power, glory and beauty. It is a new life! I also told Jesus that if I could trust Him with inconsequential things like where I last saw my obscure, triple-A rechargeable batteries, surely I can trust Him with my life. You see, God doesn't work like us humans. We might trust a man or woman or child with a slight task, and leave the hard stuff for ourselves to do because as humans, we can do the simple stuff but to do the hard stuff takes experience and expertise. With God it's backwards--or forwards in the most wonderful way.
Mar 2:9 Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?
Mar 2:10 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,)
Mar 2:11 I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house.
Mar 2:12 And immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went forth before them all; insomuch that they were all amazed, and glorified God, saying, We never saw it on this fashion.
The hard stuff God does as wonderfully and perfectly well as the easy stuff. In fact, for our own benefit of mind, we might even think of it as God specializing in the hard stuff, though really that is not sound theology. However, it might be truthfully said that God delights in doing the hard stuff for humankind! But when the Son of God returns, will He find faith among us? Will we say to Him that "We don't know what we're doing with our lives, but You know what you're doing with our lives! Hallelujah, Lord Jesus Christ!" And if we cannot trust Him with our lives on earth, how can we trust Him with eternity?
