He Is Not Ashamed to Call Us Brethren Because He First Loved Us

We often think it is a very hard thing to declare we are Christians—that we are on Jesus’ side. In fact if we look closely at Jesus’ relationship with us, we would not think so.

He says to His disciples that “I am not ashamed therefore to call you brethren.” Friends, Brothers, and Sisters. He is not ashamed of us.

He also loved us first. “For this is how we know what love is, that Christ died for us while we were yet sinners.” “Because He first loved us…”

What shall we conclude then? It isn’t a wrestling match or a pageantry that we must parade our shame of the Cross in a defiant nature, in order to gain entrance into Heaven. ‘If only we could get over this hurdle.’ The hurdles get tougher, but our love does not grow stronger. And the shame lingers, grows and festers like a sore wound.

Why does Jesus say, “If anyone be ashamed of Me and my words before men, I shall be ashamed of him when I come in glory with all the heavenly hosts on that Day of Judgment.” (all of this is paraphrased.) If only we knew how we shame Him daily, moment by moment, and yet He be not ashamed of us! In fact He died for us while we were still yet sinners. And “this is love, that a friend give his life up for another.” So there you have it, we are not to be ashamed of Him because He is not ashamed of us. Be bold, therefore! Speak! Declare. State. And witness. It is not simply a legalistic point of issue that if we don’t do this He won’t do that. It’s never ‘tit-for-tat’ in Christ. Rather, it is a loving relationship built on trust and faith in His love for us, and hope in the certainty that we will join Jesus Christ in His glory. Most of all, it is the ever-increasing fullness of knowledge that Heaven is where Jesus is. Where Jesus is we have all that we need emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, physically, and in every other way.

Where Jesus is. That is the treasure in the field that the merchant discovered and sold all he had to buy that field and the treasure within. Imagine the hardened merchant, accustomed to a lifetime of acquiring wealth, and valuing it more than anything, discovering a treasure above all worth in a plain, rural field. Then imagine him selling, while rejoicing in this secret, all that he has, in order to buy this field, or more like the treasure within. That is what Jesus is to us. That is what makes ordinary fishermen in Galilee “fishers of men” instead of fishers of fish alone.

Where Jesus is. You won’t appreciate this treasure until you have been so deprived of love and tenderness, in full realization that even if you get it from your spouse, your dearest one on this earth, that she or he can turn on you and betray you—even kill you. Or just being in a kind of life where illness stigmatizes you and you are repugnant to others or unfit for social interactions. When you have experienced that depth of loneliness and desperation, you then realize that Jesus Christ is everything you ever dreamed of in this life and the next. He will hold you here, and when you get to Heaven, he hold you tenderly, closely, rocking your pain away, wiping every tear away as you work out the battlements inside your heart and soul. (Or perhaps He does it all here first and when we die we will be ready to meet Him joyfully). He wants to “gather ….(us) under His wings like a mother hen does to her chicks…” He wept for us. He also foreknew us. We were chosen to be His from the foundation of the world.

“Seek the Lord while He may be found,” says one biblical writer. “As long as it is called Today, do not harden your hearts.” quotes Paul in Hebrews. When seen in this perspective, there is no shame in Him. Only our fear of man keeps us from shouting out “Hallelujah! Blessed is He Who comes in the Name of the Lord!”

The Loving Heart of Christ Is The Treasure Hidden In the Field

It amazes me still how something so delicate can yet be so strong.

The stars keep me company. The great redwoods that reach to the sky are my great ceiling like the cathedral of St. Peter's. The grass beneath me like the soft rugs of a rich man's house. Nature, God's creation, beckons me into summer nights to experience God's arms wrapped gently around me in the soft breeze.

The only meaning Nature has comes from the acknowledgement that it is God's handiwork. All else that have come throughout the ages to support, to justify, to vindicate man's claim on Nature outside of this reality only either ends in pagan mysticism, strangely mislabeled "Christian mysticism", or vanity. There is not one jot or iota that can justify our enjoyment of Nature except that God has made it.

When I get to Heaven, Jesus will hold me in His arms for a very long time upon entering. He has promised me that I will be in His inner circle, I believe. Heaven to me won't be the rolling hills of endless countryside or crystal seas where dolphins splash with eternal joy or flying on eagle-like creatures or even merely sitting beside a babbling brook with old friends and new; Heaven will be where Jesus is for that is where love is! How could I endure Heaven if I didn't know the Love of Christ? All the celebrations and spontaneous laughter I will isolate from if I didn't know the love of Christ first-hand. He will hold me everyday and wipe away every tear that falls on my unstained white robe. He will comfort me. I have finally learned again to see with my heart.

The treasure that the merchant found in the field and for joy sold all he had to possess the field and treasure within is the very heart of Jesus. That is the only joy that can fish and catch the human heart. He promises to make us fishers of men if we follow Him. How can we follow Him without love? For it profits us nothing if we don't have love. Love constrains us, sets us free from fear, sets us free to die for others. Hallelujah! How great is the heart of God! Let us truly magnify the heart of God with our mouths and hearts!

For this we shall have to give up the love of money and all the worries and dealings of this world. It is the love of money that made the Pharisees' hearts cold and unable to grasp what Jesus was all about.

For this we shall have to give up the love of intellect. The Devil is a liar, a cheat and a thief, for while I could not find love, he offered me the promise of endless intelligence--in short, to seek after being a genius since love wasn't available. I was only six. For 33 years he has cheated me out of love from others and from God especially. Intellectual activities were my escape, my food, rather than having God's will as my food and be all and end all. Don't fall into this trap, brothers and sisters, for it is subtle and therein lies the danger. Let me state clearly once for all that Theology without love is empty swagger and corrupted Christianity, if you can at all call it Christianity. When the powers are shaken, these three things remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. But, as Paul states, the greatest of these is Love.

I can hardly contain my joy! The heart of the gospel is the love of Christ, so much so that He died on the cursed tree to become the reconciliation between us and God, so that we might have eternal life. What greater love than that is there?

Though We Die at the Cross, Life Doesn't "End" There

The Cross of Christ is where we lay our lives down in total surrender in order that we might die to the old man, or the flesh. But once dead, life only begins in glory because Jesus Christ was risen from the dead. If He lives, then so do we! So often, Christians buy into the misleading tradition of taking up the cross as if the burden is something to be borne for a lifetime--without resurrection glory! How wrong we are! He Lives, He Lives, Christ Jesus Lives Today! says the old hymn. If Christ lives, then so do we--in the new man. How glorious can that be? We live today, not just when we get to Heaven.

Christ has defeated the old foe, Satan. There is no apology. Why do we go about as though there were? Satan's days are numbered. He makes the world rise up against the saved of God, to bring us down that we might at the very least live defeated lives as Christians; at the very worst that we might renounce Christ even before being persecuted to the point of death. No, we must not be afraid of worldlings. We might have reason to be afraid of demons, although with Christ, that is unnecessary, but worldlings are to be won over to the glory of the Cross of Christ. There is no shame in the Cross of Christ--even though worldlings, controlled by the spirit of the Anti-Christ, would have you believe so. "Behold, Come and follow me, and I shall make you fishers of men," says Jesus Christ. We don't hate worldly people; we win them over by our behaviour. Our actions and attitudes and complete renewal in the Holy Spirit is a testimony to the glory of the Cross and the resurrected Christ. In this, we have no shame. It is only in our flesh that we have shame.

"Behold, for I make all things new!" Christ says. He is the one who gives life and gives it abundantly. Water springing up to eternal life. This can't be any normal cross, for cruxifiction is certain death. But life hid in Christ is true life indeed!

Today if you hear His Voice, do not harden your hearts, as it says in Hebrews. As long as it is called Today, God gives us the chance to come to Jesus Christ to call Him our Lord and Saviour, to be on His side. Some of us wear teflon suits, thinking that true religion, true faith, can slide right off us. Don't be deceived for God cannot be mocked. You are hearing His calling now. If you refuse, you are going to bear eternity in a fate worse than the Cross of the resurrected Christ. How unwise! For can any man pay a ransom for his soul? For "He has chosen the weak to shame the strong; the foolish to shame the wise." All your learning is nothing. It is deceit and futility without the Cross and the resurrection of your spirit. "For it is the spirit that matters, the flesh counts for nothing." Don't refuse His calling, Today, my friend. It will be to your detriment and ultimately will be your eternal death if you do.

Lord, I don't know what I'm doing, but You know what You're doing!

Gal 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

I prayed a prayer of commitment tonight to the Lord Jesus. For a while now, the Cross and the name of Jesus continually made me cringe. I figured I was just evil and tried hard to further suppress that urge to curse the name of the Lord Jesus and His Cross. I couldn't figure out why this was happening over and over again, day after day...for years.

Then I quieted down tonight. The Lord confronted me gently with verses. I basically thought I had lost all spiritual hope. But His timely verse that

Joh 10:28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

Joh 10:29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.

gave me hope. It was a random verse I asked desperately for the Lord to give me just when I felt I was eternally lost.

I have often felt lost in my daily life, going about daily affairs. I have to pray as often that ``Lord, I don`t know what I`m doing, but You know what you`re doing, so please help me!`` And He always does. Without fail. I could be doing something entirely technical and wouldn`t have a clue, but once I put my trust in Him, He guides my steps and the job always gets done...even though I had no previous training in the matter. Amazing this God, isn`t He?

So tonight I prayed meaning business with God. I asked Him to circumcise my heart. I told the Lord Jesus that I commit my life to Him, every part of it. I asked Him to baptise me in the Holy Spirit and with fire. I asked Him to change my mind and heart. And you know what? I am alive in Christ! I, the "I" that once was, no longer is, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me! These words I must take in all its power, glory and beauty. It is a new life! I also told Jesus that if I could trust Him with inconsequential things like where I last saw my obscure, triple-A rechargeable batteries, surely I can trust Him with my life. You see, God doesn't work like us humans. We might trust a man or woman or child with a slight task, and leave the hard stuff for ourselves to do because as humans, we can do the simple stuff but to do the hard stuff takes experience and expertise. With God it's backwards--or forwards in the most wonderful way.

Mar 2:9 Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?

Mar 2:10 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,)

Mar 2:11 I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house.

Mar 2:12 And immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went forth before them all; insomuch that they were all amazed, and glorified God, saying, We never saw it on this fashion.

The hard stuff God does as wonderfully and perfectly well as the easy stuff. In fact, for our own benefit of mind, we might even think of it as God specializing in the hard stuff, though really that is not sound theology. However, it might be truthfully said that God delights in doing the hard stuff for humankind! But when the Son of God returns, will He find faith among us? Will we say to Him that "We don't know what we're doing with our lives, but You know what you're doing with our lives! Hallelujah, Lord Jesus Christ!" And if we cannot trust Him with our lives on earth, how can we trust Him with eternity?

The Cross Of Christ: Circumcision of the Heart

Often when we think of taking up our cross, it is to do and not to do certain things. i.e. Avoid movies and TV; don't read this or that book; don't overspend, etc. While these are good things to do or not to do, it doesn't deal with the inner man. Externals never change the inner man; it only retrains him/her to form habits. However, we will find that even habits are subverted by the temptations and the willfulness of that inner man.

A Jew is not a Jew if he is only one outwardly, says Paul. Change the inner man and the outside will be clean as well. So what is to be done? Only one thing can solve this: circumcision of the heart. That is the joy of the cross, the commitment of our hearts to the Lord Jesus in a complete cutting off from the old man and an embracing of this new man, the circumcised inner man.

Only the Holy Spirit can enable a person to do this. We read the words, we desire it, we ask for it. But we must submit ourselves to God in our souls and draw near to Him. Then as we continue to have this attitude, we will find that we will enter into a newness of mind and spirit. And Jesus does not leave us as orphans. He will give us the Holy Spirit when we respond. And those He has been given He will not lose, for not anyone can snatch us out of His hand; He promises eternal life for those who hear His voice.

Circumcision of the heart is the first step to embracing the joy of the Cross, rather than simply embracing the death that the Cross brings, for who can embrace death without the promise of resurrection? And so the Cross is about circumcision first.

Listen, desire and ask. He will give it to you if you ask from the humility of your heart.

When All Else Fails

It's been a tough three weeks since relocating this blog and deciding to take a stand for the Lord against the Devil and this world, the Devil's playground. I've been tempted, distracted, even hallucinating from the ordeal of tearing of the old man from the new. I've sinned too. I have been so wrapped up in my sinfulness that all I can really do is turn on the cd player and listen to hymns. It has helped when I was most helpless (and still am). Hymns bypass the mind's battlefield and makes the spirit sing, unites the various parts of ourselves under one banner of the Lord's. The Devil's goal is to lure the faithful away from the Lord Jesus and then when at their most reprobate, wipe them out. Join him or die: That is the Devil's ultimate motto and purpose. The accoutrements of human systems be it political, economical, technological, entertaining, and even religious, are just that--layers of sophisticated worldly gimmicks that the Devil uses to draw us into a conundrum, and distract us from God's glory. I don't have all the answers. But I seek alongside with you as a fellow pilgrim.

Music is extremely powerful. It bypasses logic, arguments and thought. It seduces you to agree with them in melodious blasphemy, or lifts you to higher planes of communion with Jesus, or merely breaks the impasse of the undecided and the hard-hearted. That's where I was this week. I have much to repent of. I've repeatedly avoided quiet time in the mornings for the entertainment of what distractions could offer. I've decided to ease into quiet time for this week by having 1 hour after waking in reading the Bible, praying and meditating on His Word. Then next week, I'll go for two hours. I know I've been wrong to turn on the computer looking for my e-buddies before looking for Jesus. Even to the point that I became depressed and the name of Jesus became offensive to me. There is no middle ground; you are either for the Lord Jesus, Messiah and King of the Jews, or you are against Him. I cannot help anyone if I am not first in the right relationship with Him and am cleansed and accepted in His Love. My writing is a futile endeavour unless I first commit my time to Him. That is all the Devil is fighting for: Time. The more he can distract you from what is important to God, the more time he has on his side to bring about your demise. And our physical death is the ultimate version of Time either being on the Devil's side, or Jesus' side.

When you are in that pickle of a situation, turn on some godly hymns. I don't mean fleshly hymns. Godly hymns, old, old hymns. If nothing else, revel in their witness. Learn to humble yourself before God and pray. Learn to love God again, because He is waiting for you invisibly and palpably. If you can do nothing else, then just worship, worship Him.

The Mystery of Why There is Abuse: Solved! (well I think partially?)

Any form of abuse, be it verbal, physical, emotional, psychological or mental is simply a means of attacking the person's chance of coming to Jesus. It is an assault on the spiritual well-being of that victim. Specific and devious, abusers will seek, at the prompting of the Evil One, to victimize a person where it hurts the most for the victim. It is the Devil's way of dragging one more soul to hell, or two if you count the attacker. However, it needn't be that way.

The Devil, you see, is a defeated foe. He can rage and scheme and taunt the weak, or tempt the strong. But, with Jesus' death on the Cross at Golgotha, there is final and eternal victory over the Devil. So why is he so active?

Humans suffer from curses and from occupying spirits which the Devil controls. The enemy is not humanity but Satan. The Devil tends to use the same old tricks that work throughout millennia and packages it nicely and appropriately for each new generation. Kairos is the best term for his deep camouflage. Really human beings only have so many limited ways that we can be tempted. The rest is simply non-existent since it is not in our human capacity to conceive of it. We know only what we are.

When we commit sin, or in other words, rebellion against God's basic principles of love for Him with all that is in us and love for our fellow man as we love ourselves, we allow satanic activity to bother us and enter us. We become demonized. It requires a lengthy deliverance and willingness on our part to obey God to get out of the grasp of the Enemy. Even then he will sound horns, bang on pots, taunt us with repetitious guilt and accusations. But Christ says of this, "Be of good cheer, little flock, for I have overcome the world!" We can ask the Lord to deliver us. We can pray in His name to cast out demons, and to make them stay out. We can segregate ourselves from the children of Darkness as their demons jump on us if we socialize with them. "Therefore come out from among them and be separated, says the Lord, and do not touch the unclean thing. And I will receive you." (2Co 6:17) To finally forgive our abusers does not mean necessarily to reconcile with them. As prayer warriors, we can pray earnestly for their salvation, but "what does darkness have to do with light?" (while they are still in darkness, that is).

But,

2Co 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship does righteousness have with lawlessness? And what partnership does light have with darkness?

2Co 6:15 And what agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what part does a believer have with an unbeliever?

2Co 6:16

And what agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are the temple of the living God, as God has said, "I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people."

If we are His temple, how much more do we need to treat our whole selves with soundness! It is one thing to be persecuted for the sake of the Lord Jesus and the Gospel; it is entirely different and unbiblical to stay abused in an abusive relationship.

Abuse is meant to repeatedly cower us over time so that we recoil even from God. That is why so many abuse victims lash out at God. This is truly terrible. Thank the Lord for His Holy spirit. Without it we would not heal or find new life, and a new life. With the Holy Spirit, soundness of mind and of spirit return. May you find all you need in God the Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, and whatever church body earnestly, faithfully and righteously, mercifully ministers to you. If we believe that each of us were created by God from the womb, that He has a plan to benefit us and not to harm us, and that Jesus is all the world needs as an answer, we will have insight and impetus to get out of abusive relationships and into the kingdom of light where God opens His arms to us and shines His warm love onto our chilled hearts.

Accepted in The Beloved

Forgiveness is a circular process. i.e. it has to start somewhere but once it does it goes round and round benefiting the multitude. Do we know that we are accepted in Jesus? He is our Husband, our King who rides on a donkey's foal to woo the daughter of Jerusalem, His people. Without truly absorbing this, we are merely keeping our hatred and passions at bay.

Know this: that you are accepted in the Beloved. Accepting this is like walking out of the dark, dank hallways of our haunted mansions with only a candle guiding us, and into the bright warmth of the noonday sun. The Sun! It completely swallows up the candle--our pitiful, hard, hard work--of grinding against our basic human nature, which seeks to ultimately kill our enemies, or at least do them just harm. The candle, our human effort, keeps the shadows from swallowing us up entirely, but it is vain effort. Eventually the candle must burn low and completely out. But if we pass through the threshold, if we dare, we will see, feel, and acknowledge a seemingly unnatural intervention to our maladjusted eyes. Who would have thought that God's love could be so good, so thorough, so complete and yet ever filling us up to overflowing? It is as Jesus says, "Woman, if you knew to whom you speak, he would give you the everlasting water welling up to eternal life." That is the promise of the Lord Jesus, and He does not lie.

All the promises of God are "yes" as Paul the Apostle says. To that we say gratefully, Amen, yea Lord Jesus, and Amen.

Humanly speaking, it is impossible to completely forgive our enemies, just as it is impossible to credit a man for having a big heart. It is the Holy Spirit who makes our hearts commodious. If we rely on ourselves, we will forgive sometimes out of our generous feelings, then other times, toward the same person, lash out in anger and projected self-hatred. And then forgive them again when we cycle back. It is hopeless and futile. We can only delude ourselves at best into thinking that the world is a good place and that psychopaths are a different species altogether. Really, the world and psychopaths are cut out of the same cloth. The Devil is in them both. And while we remain unsaved or in sin, the Devil is in us. What we need is a clean break. "You can't sew a new patch onto old clothing, or the unshrunk new patch will shrink and tear and the tear will be worse than the original hole. Likewise, no one puts new wine into old wineskins or the skin will burst and all the wine will be spoiled. Put new wine into new wineskins and you will have wine to drink." (my paraphrase) You can't use cognitive behavioural theory on people who are unredeemed and expect them to be good people. You can't fill an unredeemed, unrepentent person with the Holy Spirit. That is why the Lord Jesus must baptize us with the Holy Spirit and with fire so that we are committed and transformed, with the dross and impurities are burnt away. So look out! When people tell you that there are shortcuts, there are none. There is only the long, narrow, hard and straight path which many will seek, but few will find. Will you find it, fellow pilgrim?

Obedience Without Love Is Impossible

1Jn 5:2 "By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments."

Joh 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

Mar 12:30 "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'

Mar 12:31 "The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbour as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

We see here that the Word of God, the Lord Jesus, links obedience with love. That is a very practical thing as well as a sublime thing. It is also tautological. If you obey Jesus, you are loving Jesus. If you love Jesus, you would also obey him.

But one thing we cannot ignore: you cannot obey without love. Try as you might, you will fail, or you will become legalistic. Many writers have donned the theologian's hat, (myself included) and said that compromise is the greatest evil a Christian can possess. That is not true. To focus on this misses the mark. The greatest evil a Christian can possess isn't "compromise"; the greatest evil is the lack of love.

If we possess love, the acceptance that Jesus LOVES us, we will obey out of love. This is a great mystery for who can fathom the depths of love? To some degree, the exegete must leave room for the mystery of love in obedience. To analyze it is to reduce and denigrate its profundity. Yet it is also very simple - so simple that even a child can understand: If you are in love with someone, no matter whether it is a husband, a mother, a friend, a teacher, or a brother, you'd obey that person. The converse holds true. You can't obey him or her without love.

I've heard the great theme of obedience to Jesus expounded without this inclusion of love except to guilt the listener. "If you don't obey Him, you don't love Him." There is even a whole book written on the theme of compromise and yet not one word of encouragement to the reader on how much Jesus loves us! Terrible, terrible. The words of Jesus is true,

Mat 23:2 "The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat,

Mat 23:3 so practice and observe whatever they tell you--but not what they do. For they preach, but do not practice.

Mat 23:4 They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger."

The people of God are crippling under this weight of not knowing that Jesus loves them. How awful! But it is not the writer's fault in that he is deceived by the Enemy.

However there is a paradox: You won't know the Love of God until you obey. Once you obey, the love of God floods you. So you see, they go hand in hand. You can't and won't have one without the other.

Where there is divine love, there is no law, for the Love of God fulfills all the Law and the words of the Prophets. May the Lord Jesus bless you and show His love divine. In these dark and last days it is only the love of Jesus, and hence Jesus Himself, that can rescue us from unbelief and darkness into the kingdom of light where faith, hope and love reign.

That Christ loves...me!

No sweeter peace has pierced my breast than the realization that Jesus loves me, as I am, (though not to remain in sin,) forever and ever. What eternal security! What depth of mystery! What supernatural love!

A man said to me once that what he wanted most in life was security. He did not "know" God, for he insisted God was unknowable. I can tell you that as a woman, I looked for security in relationships, never finding it, not only because it didn't exist but because I wouldn't allow myself to feel it even if something seemly came along.

Watching the 2010 Olympics was a breakthrough for me as I heard the crowd roar for Canada. I burst into tears, wondering if and when I got to heaven, would I receive this applause too? It was too much for me. I wasn't looking for approval but an eternal welcome, an eternity I could call "home". I was looking for Love.

Then it happened. Someone mentioned to me about the 2012 end of world hype and I googled it, finding there too Christian eschatology. When I hit the wiki link I started reading about the Bride of Christ (the Church). I remember how the Catholic nuns vow to be Christ's brides and devote their lives in service or prayer of some sort. I also remember how I too thought of myself in that way. Then it came. If I am a bride of Christ, and He my Husband, then I must be loved by Him. Jesus loves me! And since Jesus never changes, (Jesus is the same Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow) then I have security! Praise God! Let us magnify our worship of Him. For though the mind fights otherwise to inject poisonous doubts and wicked blasphemies into the spirit and heart, that satanic attempt does not stop the truth that Jesus loves us, unconditionally and always.

It has taken me this long, and a useful servant of the Lord, one whom I'll name Sanders, to come to this point. After decades of building my house on the sand, the Lord let it collapse. I was a pretentious, deceptive, cunning and vain thing who only wanted attention. When I realized that I was so screwed up, in my desperation and without knowing how far this was to take me, I prayed that God would help me start all over again. I wanted to be genuine and build my house on the rock. Little did I know where this prayer would take me.

Over two decades of depression and other health issues caused me to come to a point of desperation. After bouts of dysthmic calls to the crisis lines this past year, I decided to stop running. God answered my prayers. Actually he answered it through Sanders. Sanders planted the seed years ago by asking me, "Who is Jesus to you, Vicky? What does the Cross of Calvary mean to you personally? First-person experience, not second-hand knowledge." I was stunned. Even during my feverent years I still ran away from the cross. I'd feel agitated and quite lost and bored whenever the cross was preached. I thought I was a good Christian girl. Really, I was a hypocrite playing as if I were a mature Christian. I wanted shortcuts to maturity. God said, "No."

Satan took full evil of my apostasy. He tormented and attacked me. He demonized me. Christ came to bear our infirmities away, and set us free so we can have life abundantly. Satan comes to steal and destroy. What battle he cannot win, he will take you down with him. But we are more than conquerors through Christ who loves us so. "Be of good cheer, little flock, for I have overcome the world," says Jesus.

I've learned that this life is one of a dress rehersal for the next life. This is a life of faith-building. We're put on this earth for the joy of turning our sight towards Jesus Christ and worshiping him. There is a cost though: the world and the Devil will hate you. Now, we don't mind that the Devil hates us, but our fellow worldlings? The people we used to game with or drink or gossip or shop or sup with? People in high places at school, that very microcosm of society at large that rejects Jesus' authority over them and makes every student find the need to assume there is no God of Jacob and Heavenly Father of Christ Jesus? Those who deny that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Saviour of all humankind but at the very most they accept Him as a historical figure, a deeply revered religious figure? These things, the rejection by the world and the persecution of the saints are the things of the narrow way. Few overcome it. It is like in John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress" where the Heavenly Kingdom is walled and pilgrims must rush or "crash" the gate through spear-bearing, arrow-shooting, pebble-slinging, baton-wielding enemies who by their very presence shame and intimidate those not determined enough to make it in. Pilgrims who do not wish to be bruised and are afraid of the taunts and jeers and beatings are unable to pass. But the valiant, the men and women (and children) of great faith put on a helmet (salvation), grab a shield (faith) and a sword (the Word of God)--being buckled with Truth and fleet of foot with the Gospel--they run head first through the enemy territory. Those pilgrims who make it through are bruised and stabbed and wounded, but do not die. They are rewarded inside the walled Heavenly City of God with a thunderous applause and the Heavenly Father saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Now come and enter into your rest." That "rest" is the reward of eternal life in all the riches in glory that Jehovah has laid out for those who overcome, be it in life, in death or in the Last Days.

The purpose of life is to learn to enter into that unbroken and unceasing communion with God and the Lord Jesus. In Heaven and on Earth, it is this unbroken and unceasing communion with Christ that truly is the mystery of the meaning of our existence. "Behold, I stand and knock at the door. Whomsoever opens, the Father and the Son shall come into him, and he shall sup with Us and We with him." You know, that is the secret to the New Testament. We all complain about how tough it is to obey Jesus. Yet if we only knew how unfathomably deep and wide and long and high His love is for us, all obedience falls in its place because JESUS LOVES US.

Where there is love, there is no fear. Fear has to do with punishment...Indeed where there is love, the commandments of God are followed as a consequence because the law is now not only written on our minds and hearts, but the perfect love of Christ reigns in us. We are dead to sin as we mortify the misdeeds of the body through surrender to the Cross of Calvary. We obey because like that errant little lamb whose legs were broken to bring to heal on the Shepherd's shoulders, we have learned to love and trust our Lord Jesus. We know He is good and does not change. May we magnify His Glory and bring His Love to every nook and cranny of the world. May His Name be blessed among nations because we love one another and our enemies. May we reconcile our estranged relationships and bring the gospel, the love of Christ, the good news, to all whom we have ever come to know in our lifetime, and to whom we'll ever get to know. May we continue by His Grace to love others and receive His Calvary love.

“Obedience", The One Cherished Word

I realized something in my reading and meditations tonight: I am disobedient to Christ Jesus the Lord. It dawned on me, or perhaps more like the Lord Jesus revealed to me, that to be totally healed, I must first obey. I must forgive my enemies and pray for them. I must commit my life, my possessions, my resources to Him, solely. Most of all I must repent of my disobedience to Him and to my authorities who are in Him.

How I have hardened my heart! How I have given my mind to such poison that the Devil fights tooth and claw for that foothold! I must love the Lord with all my mind as well. I must choose Him and not the world.

How odious I will be to those perishing in disobedience! What a stench of death I shall bring to every family gathering and relationship not in Christ! My uncle's motto is in the likeness of Sinatra's mantra, "I did it my way."

But we are called to be "fishers of men", or in other words, soul-winners for Christ. We are to love them to the Lord Jesus. Let me never be ashamed of Christ Jesus as my Lord Saviour through His atoning sacrifice at the Cross of Calvary. Let me follow in His footsteps. Forgive me for the denial of Jesus as Lord in my past and present, O Lord, and help me to stand for you in times of testing. Help me to stand, after having done everything. Though they strike me down, though they ridicule me, YOU have my soul. So unto you, I commit my spirit. Let me make a difference for the people you send me to. Let me love them in You, and bring them the Good News.

I let go of my opinons. They are of little consequence in comparison to the Truth of Christ. I let go of my time. It is of little use to me or others right now, but you can make a joyful harvest out of some sorrowed sowing of seeds. I let go of my future. What good is it to me? If I write that book or should I ever win a prize, what good will that do me if it does not bring You glory first and always, and if it doesn't lead souls to Christ? I give up my possessions. People seem to think that this is crazy. Yes, it is hard, but not crazy--just hard. So I shall walk around like the stench of death to those perishing. For they know in the witness You are about to do through me that they are wilfull and wrong and sinful, just as I have been, and perhaps will struggle for a bit to be yet. O Lord, let me never despise a man/woman/child for their unrighteousness, knowing that I have been saved by your lovingkindness and eternal patience. Your Arm is not too short to save, and by Your Right Arm, You perform many wondrous deeds.

Do not let me fall into sin again, or again and again. Let me do a 360 and be renewed by Your Spirit. Let me stand steadfastly, fearlessly proclaiming the Gospel of Christ as taught by Your Holy Scriptures. Let me be a prayer warrior. Someone called this sort of uncompromising, unbending, unwavering stand "strident". I think this was Satan's scheme to unnerve and unseat me. It was so subtle I almost missed it, after all, it was from an intellectual. I see that there is no "commonalities" or ecuneumical "finer" points to bridge the gap between those who call upon You narrowly and exclusively and those who don't. There is no bridge between those who will go to Heaven and those who will go to Hell. What do light and darkness have in common?

We all know this. None of us dare to admit it because of the spirit of the world at work in us. We want to have both: to play with worldly fire and retain fire insurance. Some of us make up doctrines that are not taught by Christ or the apostles. Some of us believe what we want to believe. This is foolishness. Truth is outside of us in the Person of Christ. There is no such thing as agnostic or atheist. There are simply the rebellious and the obedient.

So let us throw off everything that hinders us, the things that weigh us down with encumberances, and run the race with Christ as our Prize. Let us look heavenward and leave behind us the sins that so easily entangles, and go foward. Someone once called me a "pilgrim" pejoratively, as though if he put enough effort into it, I'd find it an insult and perhaps lose self-esteem, faith, whatever, and then he'd win. I bear the mark of the cross willingly, though having yet to be tested, and bear the name "pilgrim" with much gladness, for ever since I could remember, I have never felt at ease in this world. I am a pilgrim looking eagerly for the Heavenly City, whose foundation and architect is God, and whom I shall see one day when I have finished the race and fought the good fight, be it tomorrow or forty years from now. In the meanwhile, I study His Word and let the Holy Spirit transform me, winning souls to Christ, witnessing faithfully, living uncompromisingly, and holding fast to what is true. May this all be so, In Christ's name, Amen.

Eureka! It's Love!

Both Romans 8:31-39 and 1Corintians 13 talk of God's love for us. You know, I have been complaining for about 2 years now that I don't feel anyone loves me, and I'm already 30something. I see what they do for me and how they treat me; I can identify the markers of their "love". But for my whole life, except for those brief, halycon days with my first beloved, I felt nothing. And for the last two years, it has been torturous.

And for good reason! God was starving me in order to prepare me for the revelation, the feast of all feasts, and it is this: That nothing can separate us from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.

Now I know. I know that love is everything. Every psychologist's couch would be empty; the shopping malls would be sparsely populated; every book would be left unsold except the Bible and indeed remain dumb. My blog would also be obsolete. Love songs on the radio would be ignored, for "in vain the firstborn seraph tries to sound the depth of love divine." If it cannot do it, how much less the unsaved mortal? This is the secret: God loves you, unconditionally and for all eternity.

Knowledge would be deemed useless. Who needs to know more things where Love reigns? And you cannot separate Love from Jesus and the Father. The Devil doesn't want you to know this. The world does not want you to know this. All of Acadame doesn't want you to understand this, for its doors, its revenue, its plethora of vain publishings and research would disappear forever. Love triumphs over all.

Instead we'd walk purposefully to our neighbour's, our enemy's, our estranged relatives', our soup kitchens, our brethren to put our faith into practice. Societies would be changed. And despite worldly, demonic resistance, our hearts would be changed forever.

Let us then be faithful to the call of God's love. Let Him love you. Feel it. Cherish it. Praise Him who is the King of love who stoops to pick us up from our mire, who snatches us out of the fire of Hell.

You Know, O Man, What Is Good. And What Does The Lord Require Of Thee?

It is only in our most desperate moments that we cry the cry that God swiftly answers, for it is that cry that is most disinterested, urgent, and heart-rending. God is merciful and knows how to give good gifts to His children.

If there is a lesson I must and desire most exquisitely to learn is that of loving mercy. It is exquisite not for its luxuriousness or for its idleness, but rather for its prized quality that surpasses all qualities in human to human relationship in the Lord. It is, or should be, our most common and yet coveted interface.

Why do I say this?

God has said in the OT to love mercy (Micah 6:8). There were only three things required of Man. Love mercy, do justly, and walk humbly with God. Not any sacrifice of enormous proportions could satisfy God's requirement for the redemption from our sins.

When the Lord Jesus Christ came to earth, He said to the Pharisees, "Go, and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,'" (Matthew 12:7)

Mercy is what the Good Samaritan did for his enemy, a Jew, when robbers attacked and left this Jewish man for dead.

I have commited recurrently the sin of wishing ill on my enemies. So, I am writing this entry as much for myself as for you, dear Reader. I have struggled with unforgiveness since early in my childhood, but most markedly in the last 20 years. Yet how does Jesus show mercy to me? Recently, He has put in my mind's eye a picture of Him riding on a donkey's foal, and intimating the verses of a prophet, "Fear not, daughter of Zion; behold, your King comes sitting on the foal of an donkey." (John 12:15) He has also been teaching me that HE is gentle and humble at heart, that we can take up His yoke upon us for His yoke is easy and His burden, light; and we can find rest unto our souls in Him. He graciously impresses this upon my consciousness despite the enormity and abomination of my curses against my enemies. I am as evil as any convict, as thieving as any robber, as deceiving as any apostate; yet, God impresses His presence upon me, lets me feel guilty and horrible in the aftermath of my sins. Like the wayward sheep whose legs were purposely broken , and carried on the Shepherd's shoulders until all healed, I hobble lamely and quickly to His side and bleat. He hears and gathers me up into His love-worn arms. He holds me. I am sorry again, but comforted and safe.

Mercy is the bridge between enemies. Jesus is our bridge between us and God, the Father. Needless to say, then, Christ is merciful. Let us accept His love and salvation and subsequently show all humanity the goodness and mercy that Jesus Christ the Messiah has put in our hearts, knowing that we are no better than they, and that Jesus has forgiven us. And then, you know the old hymn sung first by King David: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me, all the days of my life.

Love, true and complete love from God, does not fail. Where there is this love, there is no fear.

"And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." This is the first commandment. And the second is like this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. And the scribe said to Him, Right, Teacher, according to truth You have spoken, that God is one, and there is no other besides Him. And to love Him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love the neighbor as himself, is more than all the burnt offerings and sacrifices. And seeing that he had answered intelligently, Jesus said to him, You are not far from the kingdom of God. And no one dared to question Him any more.(Mar 12:29-34)
"Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." (Mat 22:35-40)

Silver and Gold? The Panacea for A Broken World?

Say "Gold" these days and it conjures up both the panic of the stock market disaster and the reassurance of precious metals as "safe havens". For me, "silver and gold" as metaphors for lots of money seems to be all I think about when I try to find a solution for my struggle with a disabling illness. Somehow, it's human nature to think that if there is any problem, however emotionally wrought, throw money at it.

Such was the state of the beggar as Paul passed his way. The beggar was disabled; he had no use of his legs. Up until then, he thought money was the answer. Paul turned around and said, "Silver and gold have I none, but what I have I give to thee; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk!" What can we learn from this?

Personally, I always thought that if I had enough money, I'd be happy and the pain of my disability could be assuaged. I kept looking forward to infusions into my income. But as far as GST cheques and special occasions can carry me, more money, in reality or dreamt of, doesn't address the problems of disability. Only healing can.

Can Jesus heal in 2009? Yes, I believe He can and wants to. While we think in this economy that buying gold (if you can afford it...I can't) will save us in the uncertainties of life, the Holy Spirit is beckoning us to come to Jesus and to trust in Him. He wants to heal us in the whole; he wants to make us wholly healed. Does this take away our obvious physical/intellectual disabilities? Honestly, I think He is able and wants to. If we, like Elijah, pray earnestly, and believe, the blessings of God can rain down on us. But will my disability be healed? completely? Yes, I believe He will heal. Did He not say, Let it be done according to your faith? So if we dream big, ask big, have great faith, will He not answer? Yes! So I expect healing--complete, lasting healing.

Money is good only in how it relates to other people and meets necessities. We give money to charities, buy our children food, clothing and education, pay for a roof over our heads, entertain friends and visitors, showing gratitude. Money doesn't solve illnesses or problems that begin in our rebellion, it does not increase faith, and it does not buy us love. It only goes as far as our hearts go. In the end, it is the spirit of the individual that counts for something. Gold will rot our flesh in the last days. That is God's warning.

Coming into The Light--Living with Transparency

Contiguous to believing in Christ to save us of our sins is the coming into His Light, that is, the only true light. What do I mean by this?

What I discovered when I hid my sins even though I confessed His name verbally is that I felt torn between the good in Christ that I wanted to attain, and the need to shove my sins deeper into my pocket so that hopefully no one could see the stain. For I wanted to avoid confession, true repentance, and most of all: exposure. So, as what Jesus spoke of to Nicodemus, so have I also shunned the light because my deeds were evil. I was a condemned woman because of this, such was the verdict. It wasn't until I was willing to come forward into Christ's light and be willing to be exposed, with the faith in Him that He would work out all my reparations according to His loving-kindness, that I then became a free woman. I stopped fearing because now I trust Jesus Christ. He did not die for nothing.

The next day, I came to another discovery: That I not only needed to forgive my enemies, but that through faith in Christ, I could forgive them. Acknowledging that my sins were worse than theirs, I forgave everyone as quickly as my heart could move. I prayed for their salvation and their ultimate good, which is to know Christ Jesus as Lord. Armageddon is coming soon. People are being tested and sifted. Lives are being lost to disease and natural disasters and wars. What was I holding onto that was so evil in retaliation that made my sins 1000x worse than theirs to me? In knowing that God forgave everything I ever did, I forgave them of the pittance they owed me, with much humility and shame. How could I hold THAT over another pilgrim? And the world is full of pilgrims who have gone wayward. What gives me the right to hold my fellow slave in debt for a couple petty grievances?

Then tonight, I came to a revelation. I can hold to Christ's promise to be able to sup with Him and the Father when I answer the knocking that Christ was continually making at my heart. There is no need to work...only to repent. Forgiveness of others wholeheartedly finally allowed me to sense and accept God's love for me. Then when I had prayed for the healing of my past enemies and their salvation in Christ, I found the call to answer the knocking. Gladly I said a prayer asking that the Lord Jesus would come into my heart with the Father to sup with me. When I got up from my prayer, things around me seemed to be imbued with perspective. No longer did I see my writing subjects as an authority above me, but rather in Christ, I had authority over it. It no longer dominated me, but I saw it for what it was, lies and all. I was free. May Christ keep me in this freedom.

Christ is coming back...we see the leaves sprouting on the fig trees, the storm clouds in the distance. Where will you place your faith, Pilgrim? In gold, in humankind, in the Anti-Christ? Will having a single monetary unit placed on a computer nanochip stamped to our foreheads so that we can buy and sell truly save us? Man does not live by bread alone, but by every Word that comes from the mouth of God. Take Him seriously. Make sure you too are among those whom God will pen into His Book of Life. Mean business with God and He will save you. To them that overcome, He will give ... life eternal.

The Holy Spirit's Baptism by Fire

In John 3:5(NASB), Jesus talks about two baptisms that must take place before one can enter the kingdom of God. One is by water. This is almost universal in Christian churches. What is rare in today's churches is the Baptism by the Spirit. I think I can only count on three fingers those whom I've met amongst my circle who have had this baptism. And I am not one of those three.

The irony is that this lack is making many of us who call on the name of Jesus to live defeated lives, especially in North America where entertainment and addictions lead almost every XYZ-genner to what Tozer calls "the evils of postponed living". I am also guilty of this. "Tomorrow, I'll read my Bible. Today I'll enjoy a cuppa latte in front of the computer." We don't make Jesus our priority search; How do we expect to be filled with the Holy Spirit to overflowing? It is when we're tired that we must commit ourselves to the Lord, to obey, to rest, to set our hearts right before Him. What follows will amaze you. He blesses you with His presence, and gives you a verse from His Word. It is at that very moment of utter weakness that he builds in us character for eternity.

Today if you hear His voice, do not say 'No' to Him, Today. Many kings and princes of the past had fallen from reformers to victims of distractions and the dissolute life. Will out of your volition as much as you can and beg Him to help you. Then leave the rest to Jesus. He will see you through. He is faithful. We cannot do anything without His enabling, and that includes everything from developing good habits to the cataclysmic struggle to be free of the evil powers in the air that hold us captive. Have faith though, because through earnest prayer and faith in Him, He can and will change us from the inside out. A new creation! Everything is new! Our robes when washed in His fountain of blood is made white as snow! Take heart then, for He has overcome the world, as is written in the New Testament.

Many churches today fail to realize that they are merely functioning as a social club or theme park for nice, moral people. They don't preach the baptism by the Holy Spirit, because even the pastors themselves are unregenerate. How much more so the sheep! But Christ knows those who are His, those who hear His voice and run after Him. These He will keep until the final trumpet sounds when we shall be caught up in mid-air to meet Him.

Although the Holy Spirit's baptism cannot be forced, it can be sought after dearly and desperately. The important thing is to realize that "Jesus answered, 'Truly, truly I say to you, unless one is born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.'" (John 3:5; NASB) [end]